I listened to the #BidenTrumpdebate. Here are my thoughts.

 

Rachel Platten - Fight Song (Lyrics)

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on 
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Last Wednesday, while on a dog walk, I began the process, with marked trepidation of listening, yes, listening to the full debate from start to finish on the podcast "How To Win 2024" MSNBC affiliated. Truth be told, the nature of the flexibility of my child-free life and flexible work schedule, I have the ability to consume large amounts of media, specifically podcasts, related to current events, political news, and commentary. Because of this, I feel I am well-versed in the nuance of this election, the risks we face as a country, coupled with an ability to utilize critical thinking based on my past experiences in different sides of the political spectrum. Due to my expansive life history of exploration, I have been aligned with the Democrats, based on how I was raised, then a chosen fundamentalist Christian practicing conservative Republican during the McCain/Obama era, mind you, before Maga, then Green Party for a season...and now finally deciding upon where I choose to align myself, not an outside influence, leaning towards Progressive Democrat or even, Democrat Socialist, haven't fully decided as of yet. (Whew, I might be a MAGA or Conspiracy Theorist Leftie with that run-on sentence!)

So, yes, I listened, which afforded me to advantages. I did not witness the body physicality of President Biden that seemed the most disastrous yet this allowed me to truly listen to what was being said and expressed by both candidates. Furthermore, I have spent the last few days pouring over diligently, reading and listening, commentaries across the aisle on the debate, the possible next steps moving forward for Biden, and the risk to our country as a whole. Yet, as a listener of the debate, truly taking in what President Biden was saying and hearing the blatant lies repeatedly of Trump, I have to say I still remain impressed and dedicated with our current sitting President. In addition, I watched his Friday interview with George Stephanopoulos and still saw someone who, despite some challenges with fatigue, stress, and a known stutter, was able to communicate his thoughts, his decisions, and intentions.

Yet truth be told, I am not one versed in the matters of importance when it comes to running the government and its needs, whether as politician, commentator, or journalist. Furthermore, despite my ongoing studies, expansive history, constant striving for critical thinking, I admit my bias, as we all must do. As the days tumble forth for us lay-people, it is imperative that not only do we seek to understand and to remain currently aware, we must remember that it is decision not fully in our capabilities. Yes, we may be living in the times the (not really) Chinese curse decried "May You Live In Interesting Times" but still life continues thus for us. In the midst of these struggles and fears, it is vitally imperative we continue to seek the joys in the simplicity of life, embracing that which makes our world better within and with those we connect daily, finding healing for ourselves and the collective, such that we can continue to have the vitality to fight for the rights of #wethepeople.

Truth be told, the full quote is: May you live in interesting times, may you come to the attention of those in authority, and may the gods give you everything you ask for", so that perhaps it may not actually be a curse but rather a cry for intention.

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) [Official Video]

You didn't think that I′d come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see
What doesn′t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller

I shared a stage with a bully & it was terrifying. #BidenTrumpDebate

In 2014, I was cast in the play, God Of Carnage, for a local theatre company.  Excited for the challenge of such a dynamic and powerful story, I entered my first rehearsal with enthusiasm to meet my cast and director.  If you are unfamiliar with the storyline of God Of Carnage, it showcases two married couples coming together to work through a school-yard fight between their children.  As the weeks went on, one of the male actors would prove himself to be narcissistic and bullying.  He quickly manipulated his 'married' female counterpart and any that weren't swayed were considered an enemy to undermine.  Only a year out of an abusive marriage, being in the same room with him, no doubt sharing a stage, was trying and terrifying.  I recall standing up on stage with him, scenes of intense emotion, ankles shaking, yet as loyal as I am to my craft and art, to the theatre, to this particular play, the director, my other co-star, I continued night after night, show after show, to mount the stage at his side.  

It helped immensely that my male counterpart, my director, and stage manager were aligned with me in recognizing the abuse of this actor. However, after the show closed, I watched as his acclaim continued in the local theatre scene.  Feeling alone and at risk of losing roles, I stood silent, said nothing, tried to smile in his presence, to be friendly in the face of his derision towards me as he continued to try to make it appear as if I was the 'mean unprofessional one'.  I knew the truth yet still felt silenced as this was still a few years before the #MeToo movement would become more visible.   Then, several years later, a play was announced to be directed by this man at another local theatre.  A good friend of mine worked as costume designer for the show and as production progressed, she began confiding in me of the atrocities she witnessed both personally and collectively by this man, including bullying and sexual misconduct, resulting in multiple young actresses leaving the production due to fear, announcing #MeToo on social media directly afterwards, and his being banned from the theatre.  As much as I felt horrible for these actors who suffered, I felt, at last, vindicated in the abuse I suffered, no longer, alone in my recognition of his true character.

Over the last year, in response to seeing dear friends be radicalized by this horrifical MAGA right, I have become a very avid consumer and sharer of a wide variety of political and current events articles, from across the aisle, mind you.  Yes, that's right, I follow the news media companies, "Crooked Media" (progressive),  The Intercept (far left), and The Bulwark (Republican) on a regular basis, just to name a few, and share them regularly.  In addition, I do not align myself completely with President Biden or would even label myself as a 'democrat', rather, I am leaning towards 'progressive' or 'democratic socialist'.  I haven't fully decided yet, but want to finally and fully make the choice of what affiliation for own myself, not based on how I was raised, religious connection, or personal friends.  Furthermore, I do not love President Biden simply because I hate Trump, in fact, I don't hate Trump or his followers.  And again, I have been pleasantly surprised by the enactments and bills passed by President Biden during his first term as well his ability to connect with and listen to the beliefs and thoughts of those who differ from his viewpoints.   

Last night, the first 2024 presidential debate between President Biden and Donald Trump occurred.  As I was working, I was unable to view in its entirety, but plan on doing so, yet even so I have been hungrily consuming information across the aisle on reports and thoughts on the debate.  Those reports are detailing Biden's raspy voice, his seemingly slow start where he seemed discombobulated, unable to formulate his thoughts, and ended with a seemingly incoherent sentence.  However, they did conclude that as the debate continued Biden strengthened his arguments.  Fears are rampant today, claiming that Biden is too old, frail, and possibly, on the road to dementia.  As the avid consumer that I am, I have been aware of a wide variety of interviews, State of The Unions, and conversations that President Biden has done and have not seen signs of dementia as reported or contrived by clever editing.  In addition, President Biden has been open about his struggles with a stutter and has worked to overcome, yet, in times of nervousness, stress, or fatigue it returns.  

Donald Trump has maliciously and incessantly attacked in a wide variety of ways those that oppose him, then lied about such, in an attempt to undermine, silence, nullify, in order for him to have all control and power.  A primary target of his has been his biggest opponent, President Biden.  As brave as President Biden was in calling for these debates, as much as he has done his best to not engage with the bullying, to tend first to the needs of the country and that of how the USA orients with the world affairs, as much as he has done to calm our fears, he is still a man walking onto a stage across from his bully.  Therefore, I do not feel the argument of 'too old, has dementia' is correct, nor do I feel Biden's people claiming he had a cold to be adequate, but rather to admit the trepidation he felt upon taking that stage.  No, I do not feel that would weaken him as his role of President, standing against heads of state and commanding power, but rather the opposite. In this post #MeToo, post covid19, post Trump era, when our country and the world has been shaken up from its patriarchal power revealing all of our inner biases, ignorance, inherent racism and misogynies, I feel the antidote and cure is to fully share our fears, our trepidations, inwardly and outwardly, then collectively applauding one another who take the stage standing up to and against the bullies.

https://www.verywellmind.com/stages-of-healing-after-narcissistic-abuse-5207997

https://highconflictinstitute.com/personality-disorders/malignant-narcissism-does-the-president-really-have-it/