Wednesday, March 31, 2021
Explore With Ashley Leigh Season Three, Episode One: My Take On James Ch...
Tuesday, March 30, 2021
Pop Culture & Les Miserables
Les Misérables Female Characters & Their Pop Culture Counterparts (IMO)
Eponine
Rachel Green
Fantine
Britney Spears
Cosette
Punky Brewster
Saturday, March 27, 2021
Thursday, March 25, 2021
Cosette: Home At Last
This truly runs opposite to the experience of that of Fantine as well as Eponine and in that knowledge dwells an internal strength and sense of hope no matter how dire the circumstance. As a child, she dreams of her castle on the cloud and it becoming a reality, of such, only affirms her inner peace of self.
Although he battles with his own demons both inner and outer, Jean Valjean continues his promise to Fantine by doing what he can to give Cosette a sense of stability in all aspects of her life. Because of this, she wants for nothing, not just on a superficial physical level, but more so in the realm of her understanding of herself and her wellbeing. As she grows, her relationship with her dear papa is also one of confidante, she feels comfortable approaching him with her concerns and does not feel any bitterness towards him if he doesn't give a favorable answer. She trusts him as she trusts herself, within her is an abiding sense of serenity. She is not lonely when by herself rather she is truly happy and okay being by herself. Yet at the same time, she does not lose herself in others nor does she seek external validation from another for her self worth. When she meets Marius and falls in love with him, it is from this place of inner security, not seeking for his rescue, but as a strong woman in her own right, with much to offer the relationship based on her time developing her own character.
This is how it should be and the end result in our years struggling through our Eponine and Fantine phases. As we pass through the aching pining away of Eponine into the dark night of the soul of Fantine, we awaken to the light of the beautiful sunrise morning of Cosette, with hope in our heart that we can prevail, we can endure, our security, stability, sense of self worthiness of love firmly grasped, and in no need to seek outward for the gratification of our needs.
As I set out to create this blog, as I performed the songs of Cosette, increasingly I found her so much more enjoyable than others. I felt a sense of lightness of being embodying me that was absent in the heaviness of the other two. The reality is, at one point I lived with the fullness of the heaviness of Eponine, the constant longing for a love to rescue who never would or could, then the heartbreak and loss of idealism in my Fantine phase, that now at last I find myself as I deepen further into my recovery and emotional healing, the lightness of being that is Cosette. As I shed more and more my dependency on another, as I forgive and release the toxic and those that harmed, I find strength within and peace abiding, finally home at last within and without. Thus, I approach relationship of any variety not from a place of lack but increasingly from a place of fullness.
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
Out Of The Ashes
Saturday, March 20, 2021
Equinox 2021: A Beginning & An End
Who I Was, Who I Am
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
When I set out for this photo shoot earlier today, two black cro-ravens flew overhead, a symbol my ex-husband and I referred to ourselves as, 'a pair of ravens'. It was ten years ago today that I walked down the aisle hoping for my fairy tale dream of wedded bliss only to have realized a nightmare beyond my comprehension. As I ponder my life these last ten years, I realize the woman I have become would not be had it not been for each moment, even the moments of suffering, extreme despair, and, at times, fear for my very own safety.
So much has indeed changed for me, within and without. The wedding dress which so easily fit ten years previous did not fit around the hip and waist area. (Hence the need for the corset!) Oh, how time increases the gravity of our bodies!
But other more profound changes have become a reality deeper than that of the physical, ever changing as it is. I look back and recall the girl I was on this day 2011, a fraction of a girl forced by many to remain infantile, in order to be under their sway and control. Internally I was shaky, always looking beyond myself, seeking comfort and stability from external validation, never attaining and never comfortable within my own skin.
How different the ten year span of time in me! Increasingly, I find myself more assured of my own worth without the fear of seemingly selfish. As I push through the pain of removing that which holds the element of toxic, as if through birth pains pushing ever outward and away, I make room more and more for that of healthy, positive love within and without.
As my favorite high school teacher, Fernando Nugent, so dutifully preached in me, "No Guy Is Worth It", I concur but add to that with finality, "I am worth it."
Ever increasing in strength, empowered by love of self and from others, I discover true joy and happiness, at peace at last, fulfilled in my ultimate and truest self, my potential.
So, on this day marks an ending, love spoiled by the abuse of another, his loss at last realized and my gain for the freedom I have acquired in every sense. And, in that, a new beginning, as I truly spring into action, taking hold of my life's reins in my own power, fully alive, fully empowered.
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar











