Hande & Foote!

My name is Miss Hande.  I have been hired by Miss Nina as a personal maid-servant.  I am a young 22 year old without too much knowledge of the world.


I am nubile and very fertile, which has resulted in two previous self-imposed abortions.  I suspect I am pregnant again this time by Foote, the manservant of Miss Nina.


Men are naturally drawn to my gregarious nature and infectious flirtatious charm.


To see how my life unfolds, come see Ashland Contemporary Theatre's spring production of Durang Shorts, several plays by the famous playwright, Christopher Durang.  This character is from the short play, Nina in the Morning, starring Judith Rosen.  Other characters are played by David De Moss and Archie Koenig.  The show is directed by Evalyn Hansen.

Youth IS Wasted on the Young!

Love's Discovery...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xzsY2vkEMM

Its so interesting how memories can be brought back by the simplest of associates; the way the air feels on an early Spring afternoon, the sunlight beaming like stars off a ripply lake brings up emotions from times past both good and bad.

Today, with the warm spring sun and soft breeze, I was reminded of high school days, spring days where we waited anxiously for summer, donned prom dresses, not wedding gowns, pinned on corsages, rode in limos, ate at fancy restaurants where the other guests fawned all over us as we reminded them of nostalgic times gone by (as I do now...).  All this floated through my thoughts as I busied myself through the day, far away I was with the memory of a sort of high school sweetheart once love.  John.  Only I didn't know I loved him.

He was my best friend from 10th grade--12th grade. When we met as awkward new to the dating scene 15 year olds, he was new in the school, a small school where everyone had grown up together,  and quickly developed a crush on me.  We were kindred spirits and spent every night talking; after homework had been finished (sometimes during) about everything from high school gossip to making fun of, or rather analyzing the Power Rangers.  (Yes, I watched that show.  Religiously).

In a sense, we were falling in love and didn't know it, well, he thought he did and I didn't really want to see it.

Looking back over my 35 years of life, my one and only regret is that I spent too much time looking inward, dwelling on and ruminating on stuff I can't even remember now, and not truly appreciating what I had right before me, the friends more than the experiences.

Granted in childhood,  I was in a fragile place with an unstable home life, which made going into myself a survival instinct and truly I cannot begrudge my past self of this, since I spent so much of that life berating and hating myself, thus don't wish to dump anymore unneeded garbage on her.   Nor do I want to sit here and dwell on what could have been...

I only want to express the importance of just being, living in the moment.  Getting out of our heads, as a good director of mine once advised, and to truly cherish the life and love given to us in the present.  And to live a life focused on pursuing our dreams and not settling for what another's opinion of my life should dictate.

I believe now, whole-heartedly, in living this life, being fully connected, centered with self, the universe, my art, and those close to me that are on the same path at present.  To learn from, teach, and be loved and love in return.

I have said before that it is best to say "I love you" more times than never because you never know when that loved one will be gone.  But now to add to that, I think that my life's focus now even more than loving others (I think I've got that down) but now in taking the time to love myself, do what I want, follow my heart, indulge myself without feeling guilty....

It is this I leave the readers with, and myself: Be fully alive, fully present.  Seek to enjoy life for all its gifts, good and bad, whatever the course it takes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwnoNVOj1Fs

For in the past, this cost me much, not in the least a lost love...

Yes.  John, I get it now.  What you were trying to tell me for so many years?  So there it is.  You are one of my biggest regrets.

And yes, at least I admit too late maybe but here it is:

I love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgwM1Ky228

Happy Valentine's Day to my Sweetheart!

Here it is, our very first Valentine's Day together!  Many more to come, as I plan on never letting you go, ever, ever, ever! I've been waiting 35 years for someone to treat me the way I deserve, not as subservient but with respect and devotion of soul and heart, as an equal.  I have been waiting since I started dating at the tender age of 15 to find a lover that is also a friend.  A friend that loves me for me, gets me like no one else has, and believes in me and my dreams!  For this reason, I'm not letting go...as long as you want me around, which I hope is forever!  Aw, mush!

With you, I have the kind of love that brings peace and true acceptance.  Last night, in bed, falling asleep in your arms, I decided to stop questioning how and why but merely just accept completely our love for what it is.  I have never known real happiness and satisfaction in love until you came along...I had no idea in past relationships, where I was "just settling for less than greatness" that there was a "Michael Meyer" out there waiting for me, as you never imagined a person like "Lia Dugal".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05qcA4KPI0k

Even though, we may not see eye to eye on all issues, or our beliefs may differ slightly, you are helping me to remember the true purpose of life is love, not just others, but, more importantly, myself.   In loving myself first, I have found I can truly be more of an asset to you and your own understanding of self.  As scary as it is at times, it is so refreshing to be with someone with whom I can be completely open and honest.  Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydfH7iuLR0I

Once again, thank you for the day I walked into the Randall Theatre, the Wild Goose, the radio station was the day you walked into my heart and helped me truly to 'begin again'.  To find healing and truly find myself and continue all in that I was meant to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOw4EfQK72o

As I walk my life with you now, my understanding of the spiritual and the divine expands and yet returns to what it was before the "mental corruption".  This morning I was refreshed reading a new spiritual text that expanded on an old truth, a refreshing look at the story of Esther, a Jewish princess.
She was described as a "little spring which became a river" and that brought "light and sun and water in abundance".  Through my time with you, you are helping me to become that river bringing light, love, and blessings to the world.  Thank you!

It is true, then, love changes everything. For us both!

Michael & I with our beloved friend & castmember, David Gabriel

I love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, your Duchess I'll be!   I sincerely hope you know that you can turn to me and trust me with every part of yourself, allow me to hold you when life is hard and you want to cry.  Please let me be the woman whose arms you fall into...forever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33bqRoMUBWE&feature=youtu.be

The Other Side...of Acting!

Acting, for me, is the best form of therapy.  At times, the most painful yet in the end the most healing to free myself from the past.

In every character, I can find an element of my true self, albeit comedic or tragic, but every now and again, there is a character given to me by more than the director or the writer but, indeed, by the hands of the divine that is in her essence so much of me that she and I become one.  In that way, I lose myself as I bring her to life--her worries, struggles, pains and, yes, hopes and dreams become fused with mine. It was this way with Edna Miles and it is this way with Elizabeth, a character from the short play, The Other Side, written by Bob Valine, which is part of this weekend's readings at Paschal Winery.

I always am humbled when, if ever, I have the chance to meet the writers and always hope that in bringing to life their beloved creations, their characters, their babies, I can do their work justice.  Even though I love all of the work given to me this weekend, it is Valine's Elizabeth that I am most grateful for and that poses the biggest challenge.  It is for this reason some days have passed before writing this.

In this play, Elizabeth has lost her husband, David, in a tragic accident and is trying, failingly to put it behind her.  Similarily, I lost my own beloved first love due to divorce, a death in its own way, even though the right thing to do.

Elizabeth suspects foul play in that David was unfaithful with a "bikini" and I, too, know that feeling in that my ex's "other woman" was, in a sense, his illness.  Like Elizabeth, I try to hold in and deal the best I can with the conflicting emotions of love and hatred for the man I swore to love for all time yet can never be with again; my first love at first sight soul-mate.

Yet there are moments when I wish I could have with him, one last chance, to tell my Billiam that I love him still and for always and that a part of me misses him and will never ever forget...

I am truly thankful to Bob for writing this script and birthing Elizabeth, to Michael for giving me to her to portray, and even my Theatre-Mama, Becky, for sharing this stage with me.

To find out what happens, see you this Saturday, February 15th and Sunday, February 16th at Paschal Winery for the Paschal Readings.  Doors open at 7 pm.

https://www.facebook.com/events/703614122993149/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming

http://www.paschalwinery.com/

Bob Valine is a local Southern Oregon playwright.

Top Ten!

Top Ten Reasons Why Michael Meyer Has My Heart:

And the countdown begins...

10.) Your eyes.  They're blue.  A light blue...

9.) The hat.  You know, the cute one.

8.) The way you pronounce "hands" and other words with that "a" sound.

7.) Your "alternate" personalities that only I see.  I feel honored that you are comfortable
revealing those inner selves.  Also, and more importantly, your love of and passion for theatre, ie Acting as an art not just a business.  Thank you.

6.) You readily accept all my friends.  You put up with and are trying to get into Doctor Who. And my cat.  Especially my cat.

5.) Your cat, Leo.  I like him.  So, I keep you around so I can see him.

4.) You sleep well with others.

3.5) And by sleep I mean...

3.) The way you can make me laugh & laugh the same way at all my jokes, no matter how many times I repeat them.  I like that.

2.) The way your hand feels in mine.  Also, being in your arms, your kisses, just you, you. You!

1.) For this...

You are real.  You are a dork.  You are a real dork.

Because, I love you & I am so glad we are together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSCLCiNv4XA

A Sleepless Night Leads to...

A Sleep-Drunk Lia the very next day...

Last night, I had trouble sleeping, quite a few factors took part in my version of "Sleepless In...or rather..."Awake in Ashland".  One being my bed is not so comfy and the second being I was worried about the boy.  No further comment on that, only that what it made me realize is that now that guy has gotten so close to my heart and so meaningful in my life that when he feels low, I feel it, I mean, really feel troubled in my soul.  I was fighting the urge to call him, not out of any need of my own, but to let him know I loved him, was there for him if only he let me...but I know more importantly he needed his sleep but I am so thankful for the fact that the very nature of our relationship is built on openness in communication based on our own personal needs (if one needs space, we just ask without making a big fuss about it).

However, the words from the song below kept floating around in my brain as I tossed and turned mind racing fighting to sleep...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW67JolwoJY

But, to continue, I think that the thing that I love about this relationship is that I still feel that excitement waiting for him to show up, when he walks in the door, the first hug and kiss in the morning...that hasn't truly faded after these many months of courtship, for that I am truly grateful.

So, shall I try define the meaning of love? At present, my foggy, sleep-deprived brain can't grasp too much at words long enough to truly string together a clear thought (I apologize for these ramblings), so for now I won't try for that...I only wish to say to leave with the below song and picture attached, concluding what I was saying before my love for Michael is enough, for every moment I spend with him, leaves me wanting more...

So, how about it, Mikey, how about "A Kiss To Build A Dream Upon?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-Oz5Xmi2ew

Don't let life "Pass" you by...

Hi! My name is Angel Seraphina, but a lot of people call me Princess because I wear this funny crown on my head, including the bus driver who drives my bus to school every day.  I like it for a lot of reasons but mainly because it makes me feel good, like how I've always wanted to be treated.  The crown is a reminder of my ability to downgrade myself and as my psycho-shrink says, "it will remind me to find more value in my own worth" blah de blah blah blah.

I was diagnosed with severe depression a few years back, when I was 18, around the time my father had a heart attack.  Life seemed pretty easy going until then, or so it seemed.  There was more lying under the surface that I didn't know about, or didn't want to see, isn't that how it always is?

Anyway, my father used to call me "His Princess" when I was a little girl and drive me around town while I sipped on the best strawberry shake in town.  After his death, I spiraled quickly into a mental breakdown, increased even more by my mother's second marriage.  I started regressing and was put into therapy, which helped me realize my father was abusive sexually to me as a child, which, in turn, caused more regression, as I struggled failingly to hide that truth and return to a more "innocent time".

This brought on the intense depression which then was followed by a suicide attempt which landed me into the psych ward...when I was released from there, I began my life again with school, with promises to continue therapy and take my medications.  Not wanting to go back there, I decided to try...and find my place in the world.

Riding the bus at one point was a source of high anxiety but has now been a victory for me, brought on even more by the friends' I meet who care enough to really see my value and importance, ie my royalty. Case in point, my friend, Tommy, who carries a lawn chair for me to sit in, like the princess I truly am, while waiting for our bus to arrive.

And, so in turn, I want to help them.  Or see if I can...

Find out how I help them this Saturday, February 15th and Sunday, February 16th at 7 pm at Paschal Winery in Talent, Oregon at the Paschal Readings, directed by Michael Meyer.

http://www.paschalwinery.com/

Princess, ie Angel, is based on a character from local Rogue Valley playwright, Cynthia Rogan's play, Pass, showing this Saturday and Sunday.

https://www.facebook.com/events/703614122993149/?ref_dashboard_filter=calendar